Maybe
by Beleaf
Summary: Holby City, Connie and Ric.


Maybe 

**Maybe I should turn and walk away  
Maybe I should run, but I'll probably bow my head and pray  
Maybe I'll search the lost and found  
Maybe like two boxers bloodied, dizzied by the seventh round**

'Maybe there's a possibility, of never being alone.' I thought as I walked into my office.

I have just about everything a person can ask for; A posh car, a luxurious house, money, my job… But there is one thing that I don't have, and I don't think I've ever had, love… Although I'm married to Michael, but I think that's all there is between us, I don't think I've ever loved him, It wasn't my choice to marry him, my parents just liked his wealth and thought I might have a good life if I married him. But they were wrong, we're married, but my heart is always floating somewhere else, hovering over some men I work with. They never meant anything to me; at least I don't think so.

Closing the door lightly, I sighed and Leaned against the doorframe, wanting to forget everything else and concentrate on my work. I walked slowly to my desk, and sat down on my chair, just closed my eyes and fell in deep thoughts. About a couple of tedious hours passed without me being disturbed. Suddenly, there was a knock at the door, arousing me from my thoughts. 'Come in' I said without opening my eyes, I heard a pile of files being thrown on my desk. Sitting up slightly, I took one of them and flicked opened the cover, Inside was some random patients file. I looked up to the person who threw them on my desk. It was Ric, and for some reason he didn't have his usual smile, instead it was an almost frightening frown. A moment of awkward silence passed, neither of us knowing what to say. 'Not having a good day then Ric' I joked in a feeble attempt of breaking the icy silence. He simply turned and looked at me, keeping the silence. 'If there's nothing else you want Connie, I'll get going.' He said with a hint of pessimism in his tone. I nodded, failing to find an excuse to keep him any longer. Closing my eyes again, I heard the sound of the door slamming as Ric left, and my mind went back to the happenings on the end of my first day, when we just laid on his sofa, cuddling… As much as I hate to admit it, I really wish that time would just turn back a few month, and let me enjoy another moment of that luxury.

**Maybe circumstances make it easier to quit  
maybe in our circle, square pieces never fit  
but I want you to know**

Opening the one of the drawers located beneath my desk, and I took out a small, white envelope. I tore it open carefully, and took out the contents of it; a letter about a new job in New York, I don't want to go there, but I have no choice. Michael recently got a new job in New York, and as his wife, I have to go with him. I didn't want to reject him; I couldn't imagine what my family would say about me. Anyway, it wouldn't be too bad I guess, I would still be working in a hospital, still be in charge. God I would miss Ric, I didn't think I would, but when ever I think of never being able to see him again, I can just feel tears welling in my eyes, and crying, isn't something I do often. After wiping my tears from my face, I strolled to Ric's office. Just when I was about to knock, I heard a glass being thrown and smashing on the wall. I went in immediately, surprised to find paper all over the place, and some broken pieces of glass. 'What's going on Ric?' I asked. 'Wouldn't you like to know.' He snapped back at me. 'Don't have to bite my head off Ric' I said calmly, putting one of my hands on top of one of his, ' So what happened?' 'Jess is… she's pregnant with Zubin's baby!' He shouted emphasizing his best friend's name. A moment of silence passed before there was another knock at the door.

**I've never walked away from the things I've wanted  
I've never walked away, but I think I'm going to  
This time**

The door then opened slowly, Will poked his head around the door. 'Erm... Connie, you're needed in theatre' He stammered after hesitating for a while, curious at the state Ric's office is in. 'Ok, I'll be there in a minute' I said to Will, gesturing for him to leave. Before I left, I looked back at Ric, he looked so depressed, so angry, it almost tore me apart to see him like that.

After I went to theatre, I practically ran back to my office. As soon as I heard the door slam, tears began to fell. I can't bear the thought of never seeing Ric again, or just not having him around me. I looked at the clock, it's telling me it's one o'clock, and also that I only have 3 hours before my plane to New York. I took out a piece of paper from the cupboards behind me, and started to write a goodbye letter to Ric…

**Maybe these tears don't look so gallant  
Maybe it's a chemical imbalance  
Maybe it's the lack of sunlight  
But I want you to know  
Still I want you to know**

The three dreadful hours passed, and here I am at the airport, forced to get on that plane which will take me away from Ric forever. There's only one minute left, I got out my phone and pressed a few letters to form a message, 'Maybe we'll see each other again someday.'

'Maybe,' I muttered, 'Just maybe'.

**Maybe it hurts below the skin  
Maybe lessons finally sinking in  
Maybe getting in the last word doesn't really mean you win**


End file.
